What was once a family of 3 (me and my 2 kids) turned into a family of 6 instantly when my wife and I got married. It was such a huge change from life the way it was before, but much welcomed. It seemed like the kids all ran around with each other and required just as much intervention for bumps, bruises and arguments as when I only had two. Sure, we had our drama and rough patches, but all in all we were on a roll and things were piecing together nicely. What could possibly make it better? A baby… at 40??!!!??! Hahaha. NO!!!!
Even with the joy I felt in our new family, having another child was a journey on which I did not want to embark. With all of the new financial changes, the “Kids out of the house” timeline I had secretly recorded in my head would be thrown off by at least 18 years if we had another child. After all, I’ll be like one hundred years old when it’s time for her senior prom! This idea did not sit well with me at all. It interfered with all of MY plans.
My wife, however, had other ideas. She really wanted a baby. She wanted to have a baby with me and knew I didn’t want one. We would talk and it would always end up with me saying “I just don’t feel like God is directing me this way.” The truth was that I wasn’t even listening to what God thought on the matter. I hadn’t prayed at all – I just didn’t want another child, period!
As time went by, I began to notice Karen really struggling with this. I decided to start praying about it and figure out what direction God had in mind, not just “Frank’s” direction. I talked to friends of mine that had kids at a late age, my pastor and family members. After about 3 months of prayer and discussion, we decided to start trying.
I was 38 when the decision was made, 39 when the baby was born, and now I’m 40 with baby girl about to turn one! This experience has been just as unique and exciting as all of my children’s births. Like all of the kids before this one, I can’t fathom my life without her in it. Every crawl, every wobbly step, every sneeze or angry fit takes on it’s own little personality. I try to remember everything and now that we all have cameras on our phones, her childhood will probably be the best documented of all of them.
If someone asked me what it was like to be a new dad again at 40, I would say, “In a way it feels like I thought being a grandparent would feel, only I can’t give the baby back to my kids and go home!” Seriously though, it does seem that I am in the “sweet spot” right now for being a new dad again. This time it has the flavor of wisdom, experience and the understanding that THIS is the last baby we will have.