Marriage Letters: What Makes You Come Alive


One of my favorite blogs, The RunaMuck, has a monthly feature called Marriage Letters, where several blogs participate in writing a love letter to their spouse. Frankie and I try to do this as much as possible, but we wanted to participate in the feature as well, to encourage our readers to do the same. You will be surprised what a written word of affection or appreciation can do for the soul. We will be featuring our letters here according to the monthly prompt over at The RunaMuck. This month’s prompt is “What Makes You Come Alive”. Go ahead – take a moment to tell your spouse what makes them come alive. Write it on paper, in an email, or a blog if you have one. Then watch how it can transform your marriage. 


One of my favorite pictures of you…

Dear Karen,

After stammering over the first sight of you; after understanding the substance of you; and after realizing my desire for you – I have been filled with a magnificent, unyielding hope that is incomprehensible for my future with you. Karen – you were all of these things to me when we met and our reciprocating “tug of love” has grown even stronger since that day.

You are a social and physical masterpiece of God! The sight of you captivates me at all times. I love the curve of your lower back, your saunter when you know I’m looking at your butt, and the way your eyebrows lift to soften your expression when a nasty slow jam plays on the radio. (She even comes alive for cheesy, dentist office jams).  That’s what makes you so attractive to me. Confidence, a sense of humor and a willingness to connect with me at all times. I would spend every hour of the day with you if it was possible.

I love that you come alive when you serve God. Watching you on your first couples photo shoot showed me that you had a particular eye for the passion that exists between people in love. Your photography is spectacular, but your ability to put couples at ease with each other in a natural way is a power given to you by God. That photo session lit fires between them in places that were cold and dark. What a gift to give!

I look forward to many exciting rides across Lake Pontchartrain with you for our dates. If I time it right, the sun fills your eyes from the west as we head south. I love the way your hair lights up and lays on your shoulders, how the smell of your perfume fills the car, and how I can see your leg from the calf down to where the straps from your seriously HOT shoes start. Coming alive perfectly describes your attitude in these moments that we’re alone together and I cherish them all.

You are a genuine person, Karen. I know that you are who I think you are. I love that you fight for what you believe. I love that you cry in sympathy, compassion, and joy. I love that you feel you can make a difference in the lives of others – and actually do it. Most of all, the fact that you “come alive” is a gift from heaven. Your faith is activated by the very things that are the most important to me.

Above all, your spirituality is my treasure. You have been a pillar of strength for me in my weakest moments. Not even an attempt by the devil to destroy my prayer time with you could hold you back. Giant faith in a small frame has never been so beautiful as you.

I love you,



Dear Frankie,

It figures that we’d start out this new feature with something so difficult.  What makes you come alive?  It would have been easier to ask, “what DOESN’T make you come alive?”!


From that very first five hour phone conversation that we had, your zest for life is precisely what made me want to long to be around you again and again and again.  As we jumped from one topic to the next, whether it was faith, music, or family – I could tell that your passion for life was being reignited after it had laid dormant for a while. I want to spend the next 60 years protecting and nurturing those passions so that I have the pleasure to watch God use them for His glory – as He’s been doing for the last four years.

For the sake of brevity, I’m only going to mention how those three things that I mentioned above make you come alive- because those are the things that are such a big part of our foundation as husband and wife.

As trivial as it may seem, I love watching you come alive when you listen to a drum beat that has dug it’s way deep into your soul. You know what I’m talking about. The beats that make you close your eyes, bite your bottom lip, and pound your knees with your hands. There is an invisible drum kit that perpetually lives at your fingertips and I love watching you rage on it in the car. We have much of the same taste in music, but much of it is different – and we love that about each other. God has given us both a passion for music and I love that about us. I will grow old happily listening to good music with you, baby.

When we first talked on the phone that day, much of it was spent discussing family. I had been through the ringer between my two failed marriages, and if it’s one thing I was dead set against, it was wasting my time with someone who didn’t value the loyalty that comes with loving and raising a family – blood or no blood. Thankfully, I’ve never had to worry about that with you. You take your job as a father more seriously than anyone I’ve ever known. You have loved each one of our five children so incredibly – and it is my joy to watch them reciprocate that every day, at 5:38pm when you walk through the door. They wait patiently for you to kiss me hello, before you embrace them in that strong Daddy hug and connect with them with as much energy as you have left to give after a long day at work. It is something that they have grown to depend on and prayerfully, something they will grow to model in their own families one day. At 5:38pm, you come alive, Daddy.

Your faith. The very reason that this family is solid. We as a family navigate our daily lives under your leadership because your faith in God’s Word is so strong. You are not perfect, but you have never wavered in the ideology that our family serves the one, true, living God and everything we do is for His glory. I wish you knew how much I appreciate your heart for Jesus. I know I tell you this often, but I want so badly for you to be able to step inside my heart for a moment and FEEL it. To feel the overwhelming love when I wake up and hear you praying for me, or to feel the security when I see you studying God’s Word. The feeling it gives me as a wife and a mother is eclipsed only by the joy I feel to watch you actually walk out God’s plan for your life.

I love you,


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10 thoughts on “Marriage Letters: What Makes You Come Alive

  1. Reading both your letters made my eyes leak! The Passion in your words of each other touched my heart.
    God Bless you both

  2. These letters are wonderful, and I’m just going to have to follow for awhile because finally! a family that’s, like mine, not cookie cutter! (I brought a child from a previous marriage into my current marriage.) Looking forward to learning more about you.

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